In my About post, I mentioned that this topic would color a lot of my posts here, so I thought I should probably take a minute to explain what it means for me.
To start, I’d like to first direct you to Wikipedia’s article on the topic. Simple enough, right? Well, my personal definition might actually be simpler. For me, Relationship Anarchy means I don’t bother with categorizations that separate friends and acquaintances from “love interests”. If the feeling is mutual, and they’re up for exploring things further, then I’m game.
I actually identified as “Polyamorous” for a good while, but over time, as I read more about the topic, mainly from this blog, I found that I had a bit of…I dunno, disdain for the term? The whole “multiple, loving relationship” thing didn’t seem like a good descriptor of what I wanted, or even how I was configuring things when the rubber was meeting the
vagina road. I kept reading about poly folk, and about their relationships and thinking about how lame it all sounded. Cohabitation? Children? Marriage? Group Marriage? Poly-fidelity? Fuck all that!
It was around this time that I ran into the term, and upon taking things like my dislike of children, my need for solitude when I fucking want it, the fact that women come in and out of my life (and that they sometimes want me really badly), and the anti-male political climate into consideration, Relationship Anarchy came out as the best fit for me.
I don’t need all of my parallel relationships to be “loving”. In fact, I might not want “love” at all. What I want is to rid myself of these imaginary, “No fucking beyond this point”-lines that everyone else seems to paint themselves into boxes with. “Fuck buddies”? “Friends with benefits”? Fuck those, too! What’s wrong with being friends (or acquaintances), and enjoying each other’s company a little further should the occasion arise? Why make things more complicated than they need to be? For me “Sometimes friends like each other enough to fuck, and that’s Ok.” does the job.
Does my blurring of lines cause problems? Haha, of course. It already has, once or twice (or more, if I’m honest). Sometimes women internalize my laid back attitude a bit too much, and forget about the boundaries of their current, monogamous relationships, right up until after I’ve made them orgasm (Girls, don’t do that). Others get silly ideas in their heads about our future together…even thought I spell it out from the start that I won’t do monogamy/exclusivity (I’m pretty open about this fact, actually. Even my acquaintances know). And the list goes on. But…isn’t that just life? It’s not much of a reason for me to stop.
Anywho, that’s about as much as I have to say on the subject. I’ll probably link back to this post when the subject comes up in the future. I’ll also clarify or expound further on the topic, should it come up. I’m done here…
– Jack The Rebel