On Discretion

Discretion is something that I think those of us who live non-monogamously should practice, and I do mean every type of non-monogamy.

watched this video recently, in which the late Patrice O’Neal tells a story that basically amounts to him being falsely accused of rape because someone had a big mouth, and it took me back to a few times in my life where my lack of discretion almost got me in big trouble, and to others were my discretion kept things from turning worse than they did.

The one that sticks out the most, as an example of trouble brought about by my lack of discretion, was the first time that my then-girlfriend and I had sex (we’ll call her “Liz” from here on). In the spirit of discretion (Haha. Gotta make up for that time!), I will be keeping some of the details vague: She worked at a swanky hotel whose bar my then co-workers frequented, and her job had strict rules against fraternizing with customers. They’d all met her long before I did, and were telling me all about how hot she was for a while before I finally met her.

When I did, it was pretty much lust at first sight for the both of us. She had me look her up on MySpace (that should give you some idea as to how long ago this was) and after a few weeks of writing each other and occasionally talking on the phone, I somehow convinced her to meet me at her job on one of her days off (Aside: I have a tendency of underselling my seduction skills. I like to think it keeps my head from getting too big). I was kind of stuck there until my co-workers got out of work, so I couldn’t meet with her elsewhere, and the situation demanded that I struck right then and there, when the iron was hot. So, I snuck her in through one of the side exits so that none of her co-workers would see her, brought her up to the room, and we had ourselves a fuck that I still remember fondly.

If you’re thinking “But Jack, that was sneaky as fuck! How much more discreet could you have been?!”

Lots. Things are about to get scandalous, just you wait.

After we’d had our fun, we got dressed and sat at the foot of the bed to talk for a bit. Right then, one of my co-workers walked into the hotel room. Whether I lost track of time, or he came back earlier than I expected, I have no idea. All I know is that he wasn’t happy. Though all of my co-workers had the hots for her, this was the one that had actually been gunning for her. Oh, and did I mention this wasn’t my hotel room? Did I also mention that I fucked her on his bed? Oh man, this was a disaster!

Her and I said our brief parting words, she took off, and he started going off on me. His disposition was a mix of admiration, amusement, confusion, and anger. His ranting jumped from wondering how the fuck I managed to pull this off—when he’d been macking on her for longer than I’d known her, and had gotten shot down repeatedly—to asking why the fuck I had to do it on his bed (In my defense, I didn’t actually know it was his bed). Eventually, more of my co-workers started walking in. Most were incredibly amused, treating me like some kind of hero, one just shook his head. This wasn’t the first time I’d done something like this

Things got a lot warmer though, when the dude whose bed I fucked on and the head shaker started fucking with me and saying they were going to tell on her and get her fired. They made me sweat it for a long minute before cracking up and saying they were just fucking around. That wasn’t entirely true. They called another of the girls that worked there, Liz’s friend, and told her all about it. And here’s where I started feeling the fire. After talking to Liz, she called me up and had her turn yelling at me. She’d gotten Liz the job, so she felt like her own reputation would suffer if word about this got out. What she said next is what unnerved me the most though. She explicitly made it known that, if word of this got far enough, Liz might just claim that I’d raped her as a way to exculpate herself. I was just about ready to shit my pants. I was in my early 20’s, and this was the first time I’d ever even considered such a thing. My model of reality then did not include women lying about being raped to shirk personal responsibility. How naive!

Things…turned out alright though. Everything got smoothed over, and after another month of fucking, Liz and I entered into an exclusive relationship. I wonder though, whether me agreeing to enter a monogamous relationship was related to the not-so-vague threat that Liz’s friend made on her behalf. After all, this wasn’t just the very first time I’d agreed to be monogamous; it was also the last.

So, what could I have done differently, as far as discretion goes? Well…I could’ve maintained the mentality I had while I snuck her inside, and rushed her out of there after we’d gotten done. Not only was her presence there problematic, as far as her job went, but Liz was more than aware that my co-workers wanted to get into her pants, and that their jealousy could cause issues, so theoretically, she wouldn’t have objected. I could’ve also put things off until a later time, and a later place. But, you live and you learn I guess! Take this lesson from the late Patrice and myself: Big mouths will get your shit fucked up! Stay frosty…

– Jack The Ninja


4 thoughts on “On Discretion

    • For the most part, yes. As Patrice says in the video, “Don’t Tell On Pussy”. Women are willing to go nuclear to protect their reputation [employment included, I suppose]…

      In this instance, it was more about how I walked it, and especially around certain individuals [I might write a “Discretion in Practice” post, to go more in line with the not-talking side of things].

      • I was being serious yet flippant in my comment ….

        And thank you for the hint of other pending topics. I know i will find them most interesting.

        Discretion isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when reading your blog topics, yet a further analysis shows how much true discretion you display. Being “wild and free” successfully requires a lot more discretion than most guys realize.

      • Hahaha. Yeah.

        Though I love telling others about the crazy situations I get myself into [half of the fun for me], when I do it outside of this blog, where things are left more vague that I might be letting on, and where everyone has a pseudonym, I’m careful about who hears about what.

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