The Combat Zone Hookup, II

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Last time, on Jack’s TMI Blog, I was left with a mind full of worries, and fingers smelling of vagina. My newest acquaintance, “Alexa”, asked me to come to her trailer so that I could lay some pipe, but there was one little problem: Military personnel were not allowed in the civilian areas. After almost 8 months without any sexual contact, though, trivialities like “rules” were not about to dissuade me…

When I finally arrived back at the big tent, my rack mate, “LCpl Wallace”, greeted me. “Rayner! So how’d it go, man?!”  He’d actually seen Alexa and I hanging out on a previous night, and like the big, clueless asshole that he was, yelled to wish me luck. He knew I’d met her that night, also. “Smell my finger…”

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The Combat Zone Hookup, I

The desert...

One of many pictures taken during my time spent in Iraq.

Of the many things connecting me to Missouri, there are mainly two that stick out in my memory. The first being all of the ink I got done while I was there (kinda hard to forget), and the second being the little lady that is the subject of this post’s title.

Now, you might not believe it, but getting laid while in a combat zone can be a little difficult (especially since Vietnam wasn’t my war), and being a Marine didn’t help. In my time, the total force was 6% female, and many went for admin jobs, so there wasn’t an even distribution. My MOS, in specific, was only about 4% female, and it just so happened that every unit I ended up in seemed to stand on the shallowest end of the “drowning in pussy” pool.

Not once, in my whole 5+ years, did I end up in a platoon with a female in it. Hell, in Iraq, my company of 200+ Marines only had five females in it. Two were too high ranking (more on that some other time), one was an obvious dyke, and of the last two, one got herself pregnant early in the deployment, and the other was seriously injured by enemy action. Both were sent home.

Sometime around the tail end of my deployment, though, my fortune changed. Circumstances made it so that when I wasn’t off on a convoy with my platoon, I was stuck with a supply guy (we’ll call him…”LCpl Kelley”). My job was to drive him back and forth between the base’s flightline and his supply unit’s building, transporting stuff that’d arrived back to them (I’d been a baaad Jackie Boy, and working with no days off was my punishment). For whatever reason, his unit had civilian contractors working with them, and Kelley, like many Marines, really didn’t care for civilians. The fact that he was forced to work with them seemed to make him dislike them even more. “Fucking civilians are disgusting. Bunch of undisciplined pieces of shit…” He was hilarious!

This turned out to be opportune for me, however, because when time came for one of these contractors to be replaced, they flew in a girl from Missouri that even someone without desert goggles would think was cute. “So…who’s that?”, I asked Kelley. “Oh, her? Just another stupid civilian they flew in. Now all of these dumbasses are drooling all over her, being all gay and shit, trynna flirt. What, you like her too?” He sounded frustrated, as if he hoped that I wouldn’t also turn into a mindless drone around her. “Don’t know. She’s cute though.” Kelley agreed with at least that much.

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Christina, II

Previously, on Jack’s TMI Blog, we left off with Christina pushing me down onto my bed, throwing herself next to me, kicking her pants off, then asking “So…what do you want to do?”

This may come as a total shock to some of you (Ha), but I responded by pouncing on her. We began furiously making out and ripping each other’s clothes off. It’s as if, even in our drunken state, we were both fully aware that we were being very naughty, and we were trying to squeeze as much out of our time together as possible.

It wasn’t long after we’d begun to really enjoy ourselves that I began hearing banging on my door. We ignored it, of course. Next, came the ringing of our cell phones. We silenced them. Then it was my room’s phone! We decided to ignore it, too, laughing a bit while doing so. We got so wild during our drunken romp, that after a while we fell off of the bed! We laughed for a bit, then I turned to her and said, “You know…I should probably answer that.” She nodded, knowingly, and I picked up the phone. “Hello?”

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Christina, I

Christina“, whose actual name I will only reveal to my personal friends, was a thin, 6 feet tall, blonde hottie. She holds a special place in my memories for several reasons, cardinal among them being the fact that she’s probably the tallest chick I’ve been with (same height as I), and that our hook up became a legend among all of my former co-workers. I’ve alluded to this before, but I think it’s time I finally shared the story in full…

The occasion that caused our paths to cross was this huge, gala-style dance that my company held once a year, in conjunction with several other local businesses. I really don’t care for such fancy shit, but you could say it was kind of a big deal. The rest of my co-workers were all about it, and one in particular, “Mitchell”, did not have a date to bring along. Luckily for Mitchell, the girlfriend of another of our co-workers, “Fred”, had a cute, recently broken up friend whom she thought might like the opportunity to get out and socialize in a fancy setting. The friend was Christina, and looking back, Fred’s girlfriend couldn’t have been a worse matchmaker…

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On Discretion

Discretion is something that I think those of us who live non-monogamously should practice, and I do mean every type of non-monogamy.

watched this video recently, in which the late Patrice O’Neal tells a story that basically amounts to him being falsely accused of rape because someone had a big mouth, and it took me back to a few times in my life where my lack of discretion almost got me in big trouble, and to others were my discretion kept things from turning worse than they did.

The one that sticks out the most, as an example of trouble brought about by my lack of discretion, was the first time that my then-girlfriend and I had sex (we’ll call her “Liz” from here on). In the spirit of discretion (Haha. Gotta make up for that time!), I will be keeping some of the details vague: She worked at a swanky hotel whose bar my then co-workers frequented, and her job had strict rules against fraternizing with customers. They’d all met her long before I did, and were telling me all about how hot she was for a while before I finally met her.

When I did, it was pretty much lust at first sight for the both of us. She had me look her up on MySpace (that should give you some idea as to how long ago this was) and after a few weeks of writing each other and occasionally talking on the phone, I somehow convinced her to meet me at her job on one of her days off (Aside: I have a tendency of underselling my seduction skills. I like to think it keeps my head from getting too big). I was kind of stuck there until my co-workers got out of work, so I couldn’t meet with her elsewhere, and the situation demanded that I struck right then and there, when the iron was hot. So, I snuck her in through one of the side exits so that none of her co-workers would see her, brought her up to the room, and we had ourselves a fuck that I still remember fondly.

If you’re thinking “But Jack, that was sneaky as fuck! How much more discreet could you have been?!”

Lots. Things are about to get scandalous, just you wait.

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