One of many pictures taken during my time spent in Iraq.
Of the many things connecting me to Missouri, there are mainly two that stick out in my memory. The first being all of the ink I got done while I was there (kinda hard to forget), and the second being the little lady that is the subject of this post’s title.
Now, you might not believe it, but getting laid while in a combat zone can be a little difficult (especially since Vietnam wasn’t my war), and being a Marine didn’t help. In my time, the total force was 6% female, and many went for admin jobs, so there wasn’t an even distribution. My MOS, in specific, was only about 4% female, and it just so happened that every unit I ended up in seemed to stand on the shallowest end of the “drowning in pussy” pool.
Not once, in my whole 5+ years, did I end up in a platoon with a female in it. Hell, in Iraq, my company of 200+ Marines only had five females in it. Two were too high ranking (more on that some other time), one was an obvious dyke, and of the last two, one got herself pregnant early in the deployment, and the other was seriously injured by enemy action. Both were sent home.
Sometime around the tail end of my deployment, though, my fortune changed. Circumstances made it so that when I wasn’t off on a convoy with my platoon, I was stuck with a supply guy (we’ll call him…”LCpl Kelley”). My job was to drive him back and forth between the base’s flightline and his supply unit’s building, transporting stuff that’d arrived back to them (I’d been a baaad Jackie Boy, and working with no days off was my punishment). For whatever reason, his unit had civilian contractors working with them, and Kelley, like many Marines, really didn’t care for civilians. The fact that he was forced to work with them seemed to make him dislike them even more. “Fucking civilians are disgusting. Bunch of undisciplined pieces of shit…” He was hilarious!
This turned out to be opportune for me, however, because when time came for one of these contractors to be replaced, they flew in a girl from Missouri that even someone without desert goggles would think was cute. “So…who’s that?”, I asked Kelley. “Oh, her? Just another stupid civilian they flew in. Now all of these dumbasses are drooling all over her, being all gay and shit, trynna flirt. What, you like her too?” He sounded frustrated, as if he hoped that I wouldn’t also turn into a mindless drone around her. “Don’t know. She’s cute though.” Kelley agreed with at least that much.